Searching for "i still love him"

31 Results For 'i still love him'

BlahBeeBlah

April 27, 2021 @ (Midwest)

So I entered my first relationship for the first time in 2019 and everything was slowly turning amazing. I had begun opening up to him, something that he requested of me, and just being more happy in general. Sad to say I was a depressed little thing who was also agrophobic. Once we got closer to our one year anniversary we started discussing moving in together and even potentially having a family. My first red flag should have came from this as he often flip flopped on what it is he wanted and agreed to. So we move in together and about two months in I started developing BV and I would take medicine for it and get a yeast infection. I know now that not even a week after I first develop BV which I was told is common, he had began cheating on me with multiple women. This had been going on for months before I found out and it did it without any hesitation once so ever. I felt so betrayed as this was the man I thought had loved and respected me and would tell me magnificent things like he wished he had met me sooner in life. I tried to work things out with him but he said that the relationship was blah and that it had ran its course. I asked him what did they have that I didn't, besides the whole BV issue, and he just replied something different. This happened months ago and it still hurts like it happened yesterday because for some stupid reason I still love him. I do not understand what is wrong with me and my heart, but I wish so desperately that I didn't meet him. We still interact with each other and I know he still messes with some of the women that he cheated on me with, but he's just toying with them too telling them sweet nothings like he did me and fucking everything that moves. I am so desperate that I engage with sex with him and I know its stupid as fuck of me but I can't help it. I really don't want to feel what I feel anymore, but I can't cut off my feelings and if I leave I'll be homeless

Seyu

October 22, 2019 @ (Qatar)

Tags: Break up

so i'm a university student, and i ve decided to not date anyone in my uni years to focus more on my studies, until my senior year. I met someone while doing my internship, he was nice funny we start talking and going out on date there was chemisrty i really thought he was the one i told him all my insecurities and how i don't believe in myself and i don't think i m pretty we start dating the first month was amazing it was like a movie i was finally happy after years until he started telling me how to dress how to talk how to walk what to do and even start deciding about my future and if i said that's not what i want to do he gets mad but i was already in love with him and i couldn't live without him so whatever he says i do because i didn't want him to leave me. We had sex for the first time ( it was my first time )and after one week he broke up with me telling me that i was an easy girl and that he deserves better that i wasn't good enough for him not pretty enough for him ( to be honest i was the smarter one never wanted to make him feel not smart enough i was the prettier one he never went to college and i was a senior student at the uni, he only speak one language i speak 5 languages ) i was broken i thought i'd die from sadness but i was sure that he ll talk to me again until i heard that he has a new girl friend and telling everyone that he never loved me it hurts a lot to be honest i still love him and i still broken and i wish i could understand what happened or why he acted like that why did he lie to me or even came to me the first time if he didn't like me. I hope i ll get over him soon.

Silly Girl

March 04, 2017 @ (Taiwan)

Tags: Sad breakup, silly breakup, silly girl, unimaginable breakup

When I was 13, I meet my ex in high school. I remember in the first class, we look at each other and smile which is the moment i remember until now. Those time, when young soul are pure and kind.. When time passes. We had a crush on each other, we knewit but we never confess it.

5 years later where we both are 19, we got together, he is my first love, while im not his first love. He went into several relationship during that 5 years. We were both in a long distance relationship(LDR) as at the year 19 people start going to college in University. I stayed local to further study, while he were in the State.

When we first separated, we fully committed to maintain this uneasy relationship, because i believe in fate. For those who been in a LDR, will know that how stressful, insecure, it is. It brings a lot of stress to me. At the first 4 months it was okay, and after that he start to playing missing, like for a whole day. Dint reply my text, dint pick up my call and dint even told me that when he is awake and when he is going to sleep. The time different between us is horrible, it was me that stay up till midnight to wait for him to wake up, but ended up receiving nothing. This kind of ignorance and gone missing go on and off continuously till another 6 months.

At the 10th month of LDR, i received an odd message from him. It was some very rude words, saying that I am a bitch. And then I realized that it sent by another girl through his phone. At that moment, my heart felt apart. My heart was broken. I cried and call him to explain everything, he told me that he was actually with the girl when he is in the State. He throw all the responsibilities to me to settle all this mess. Ask me to make the decision. I was mentally and physically being tortured. Everything was in a complete mess. His cheating partner was crying and screaming while we having phone call and I am really not under a sober condition to settle this mess. And I decided to hang up the call since I cannot think comprehensively towards everything. After the night, he keep send me sorry words, saying that he din't mean it, saying that he still love me, and a lot of sentences that mentally hurt me a lot. He spam and spam and spam.. every single day and act like he is the one who got hurt. MAN!! I am the one who silently being hurt all the time, every single time! 6 days after the messy break up, his cheating partner texted me, asking me to give him another chance, and told me that he was sick, asking me to send him some warm messages. I cried every single day, i cried a lot. The pain that both of them gave me is unbearable. It's like a knife stuffed into my heart and slowly twisting.

And finally I decided to text him, because I still love him at that point, he cried and beg me, asking me to give him another chance. Because I still love him, and we are back together. Same thing happened, okay at the first month was so good. And the following months he was playing missing. Finally at the third month he wanted to break up, and he said that he is in love with someone else. And we never contacted ever since.

After the break up, I couldn't sleep well at night. I always had nightmares, felt lonely and sad. When I look into the mirror i asked "What now? Am I not good enough?" "Why does being kind people will still get hurt?". All the question i asked, but non of them gave me an answer. Those sadness and insecurities haunted me quite a long time. It started to effect my health.

And after 4 months, someone with him told me the truth, the person told me that he had a lots of girlfriend before and after he gets back with me, all those classes, working timetable and trips with friends that he told me as an excuses of can't make a video call was actually going out have fun with a lots of chicks! Truth hurt. Truth really hurt like hell. I burst into tears when I knew this. I always thought that both of us need a closure, but the pain he gave me that feelings just wont go away. After the truth, and I finally realized that he doesn't deserve my tears. It is not worth to cry for him. Love yourself first girls!

Xoxo Best wishes

Dammie

February 26, 2017 @ (Ec)

Tags: Bad breakups , sad break ups

Me and my ex , we met 5 years ago we were so in love , was the first time in my life I had boyfriend ( I was 22 y.o ) he treated me like no other ever... I was facing depression and he took me out of it ... after almost 2 years , he texted me saying he was getting enough of me and that he didn't loved me anymore wasn't the first time ,I did begged him before not to leave me anyways he did I was in a terrible depression for over 3 months I didn't almost left my house or my room I cried all the time he then texted me saying he wanted to remain friends I said yes because I still had feelings for him , he sometimes talked about a girl saying was like hypothetical situation . A month later I found out he was dating ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS , i couldn't believe it everything made sense then she never apologized he didn't told me into my face either , cried and yelled to him the pain I was experiencing became unbelievable, after a month he texted me again saying sorry and all and that he was having a really bad time with his family and needed me , at first I sent him to hell but because I'm so stupid I kept contact and tried to help him out 4 months later he was having issues with his current gf ( my ex friend) and turned still to me saying that he understood now who really loved him , to make it short we came back together I forgave him but things weren't that great since I was all the time afraid that he might cheat again he was patient but sometimes he wouldn't pick the phone and it rang as occupied very late at night . He would go freaking mad if i would quise took him about it ,he kept saying I was being crazy that he was sleeping as always I apologized all the time we went on a wonderful trip to Asia and was wonderful , after that I made some decisions of my career that he didn't liked much but accepted , he travelled a lot because of his job , I even fought him looking for prostitutes when he was in Vietnam , to which he said I was being mental because he didn't do anything and I was going through his privacy , i always caught him trying to talk to other woman and was exhausting ,he cried and everything so I decided to believe him always , so I gave up and became that kind of woman that he could yell at and say I was stupid , that kind of woman that couldn't be angry because he didn't replied in 7 hours but he could be mad at me for not doing it in 10 minutes , I was being called stupid ,asshole etc etc every time I tried to ask about something .... one day we fought so badly that we didn't talked for 1day , I felt the end coming and felt pity for myself I loved him so much but I cried every single day and couldn't do anything in any other aspect of my life , I texted him finally being so afraid telling him that he could decide our future since he last words to me were "I want to break up with you so many fucking times but I don't say it" I told him I would do what he decides ,fight one more time or end ... he asked me time to think , 2 days later or silent I asked him ,he said was hard that he loved me but he made me cry and sometimes he didn't even felt bad about it ... anyways he broke up and broke my heart for second time...
Now one month later , i get to know that he is talking to another girl , younger prettier... and even I was doing okay and slowly not crying for him . I went back to the pain of the first time we broke up , that pain in your chest that won't go , the feeling of the tears going down your face without you even noticing, because I still love him and miss him like I did almost 5 years ago

EponaSaysHai

February 22, 2017 @ (Covina, CA)

Tags: Worst break up ever

I fell in love with my best friend. He was a sweet and kind boy that loved to help people. And he loved me back. I knew he did because he treated me like I was special. He said things that no one who saw you as just a friend would say. 4 months of magical romance that everyone saw but we didn't want to admit was there. Finally one day we told each other how we felt and all our friends were so happy for us. I had never been happier in my life. We loved each other. At first it was cute puppy love, I guess you could say, but when my growing depression finally got ahead of me, we found out how much we truly loved each other. He cared for me unlike anyone I've known. The puppy love became a romance and passion that we had building up inside of us for months. We were completely in love with each other even if we both hated ourselves. We were each other's reasons for living. And I can't tell you how many times we were so close to giving up but saved each other. I'll never forget that day I wanted to kill myself and he told me that he loved me and I meant everything to him. That I changed his life for the better. That summer, 3 months after we first confessed to each other, was depressing because we missed each other dearly. School was the only time we got to see each other. Then one day I got my phone taken away. The only way I could contact him was through text. For 2 weeks I sometimes secretly went in my phone to text him. It was brief but those moments were everything to me. Then... 5 days after our 5 month anniversary, I got my phone back. I texted him happily and he replied. But he was depressed. I asked him why and he refused to tell me. I hadn't talked to him in 3 days at the time so anything could've happened. I finally got him to tell me what was wrong and he said.... "I think I'm gay..." I was in shock. And when he said he liked me as a friend, I wanted to throw my phone and just kill myself. I struggled to stay calm for his sake. If I showed how much it hurt, he would regret telling me even more. I told him I needed to be alone. I was in public, totally unprepared for any tragic news. But slowly as reality sunk in, I couldn't hold back against the tears that threatened to pour. I excused myself to the restroom where I cried so hard I couldn't breathe because I tried to stay quiet. I didn't feel anything but pain and sadness. For the next few weeks, he begged me to move on. He was extremely sad and was angry at himself for breaking my heart. He even said he wish had never said anything at all. But I would've found out one day. He wouldn't love me anymore and I would be able to tell. School started and we were friends who pretended we were fine. No one asked about our relationship. Only one person did but we ignored them. It's funny. A lot of people keep asking us if we are dating. No one asked when we actually were. He isn't the same anymore. He isn't positive anymore. He shuts down when he's sad and only talks to his therapist. He used to talk to me. I dont know what we are at the moment. Sometimes I see my boyfriend again in the way he looks at me. Sometimes I see my best friend. But sometimes I see my ex boyfriend, the broken shell of the person I once knew and loved. I still love him to this day.

If you ever hear about a break up where the boyfriend finds out he's gay and the girlfriend is sad, don't laugh. It sounds humorous, but when it becomes your reality and the thing that tears you apart everyday, you won't be laughing. In these cases, there's little to no chance of getting back together. And it hurts like hell.

JUNIE

August 08, 2016 @ (Philippines)

Tags: bad break up

we were co workers before, actually the first time I saw him I already have a crush on him. he's handsome, chinito, he has a cute smile. but sadly his friend also our co worker courted me. they were friends thats why every time paul(my ex.) see's me he always making fun of me. but I always ignore him..... then a month ago he resigned, I also resigned in that company. lonnie(the one who courting me) and I became in a relationship for 6 months then he cheated on me. then after 2 months I decided to search for paul's facebook account then poof I found it. then he accepted my request. he's asking how is me what happened to my life to me and loonie. I answered his questions then he's so sad to hear that me and loonie ended up like that. he said he's there for me, If i could just give him a chance to love him he'll his best. I asked him why? he said he likes me, I never expect that because way back then I am not that so beautiful so I never thought that he would like me. he insists so I gave him a chance to court me. he seems to nice and true, so I decided to end his courting and make him my boyfriend. we were so happy, like I thought he's the one. everything seems to be perfect. but suddenly this girl came and he decided to break up with me.... I asked him why he said he loves her. he's willing to sacrifice what we have just for her..... my world seems to be broken. it hurts seeing him happy with.. after a month I heard they were separated because the girl left him... that is the most hurtful thing, he sacrifice ours for bitch now he's broken we're both broken... as much as i wanted to be with him, i need he need to be heal... i still love him despite of what he does :(

Sophie

July 11, 2016 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Taking a break

I met him in december, 2015 at a party and we were both attracted to each other and ended up cuddling a bit. I was about to leave for college, but decided to stay as I wanted to have a relationship with him, eventhough I knew that chances are we might break up, but that was a risk I was willing to take! So I applied and got into to college close by to where he lives. Due to his busy schedule, we only saw each other every two weeks and I know that this wasn't much, but I loved him so much and wanted things to work out. I hoped that during the summer we would have more time to spend together. May came along and I found that he had to study during the summer for exams he had in August, but he said that he would make time to see me.

We're in the middle of July and I haven't heard from him in two weeks and haven't seen him in almost a month! I was in Italy atm and asked to meet up with him to discuss what was going on...he read the message but never replied, so I was forced by message to ask him for a break! He replied agreeing to it and said that at the moment he is absorbed with other things such as his studies and that after his exams we would have time to reflect and meet up to discuss the final decision. I was devasted as I still love him and want to be with him and the fact that he didn't fight to keep me, made me realise that chances are he could have lost interest!

Although I hope that after his exams we would get back together, but if it doesn't I am going to have to take time to move on.

Anonymous

May 03, 2016 @ (Fredonia, NY)

Tags: none

broke up with my boyfriend of about 2 years but we live together with our friends until my semester end and i go home for the summer. Well we decided to be friends with benefits. I am aware that this is a really bad idea but I was hopeful because the last time we broke up we were fwb and got back together. It's been about 2 to 3 weeks we have been fooling around and the other day he kissed me and asked if I was ok with it. At first I thought we were getting back together since this was exactly what happened last time only he still wanted to be fwb. Lately we have been kissing a lot but only at night when everyone else goes to bed but he seems to kiss me really passionately and caresses my face and is very sensual with me. Not only that but he does little things like ruffle my hair to show me affection. I still love him very much and I want more should I talk to him about this? I'm scared he's going to say no and we won't be fwb because I love being able to touch him or do you think he has feelings for me but is scared of getting back into a relationship? I know this post is long and annoying and I'm sorry but I really would love some advice on what to do!!!

Louise

March 09, 2016 @ (School)

Tags: Bad breakup

I first met my boyfriend on a open evening at school in mid September it was then I discovered I had feelings for him. His birthday was coming up so I decided this was the perfect chance to show that I cared about him so I bought him a birthday present. He was over the moon when I gave him it , it made me happy too. in the start of November 2015 we started going out we had a solid relationship I though nothing could come between us. I was wrong there though. a few weeks into January 2016 some of my so called "friends" started asking him random things "Louise is asking if you still care about her." Louise wants to know why you are telling people that you's are not together anymore".
When my boyfriend told me all the things my "friends" were saying I was heartbroken how could they tell him these things I Loved him and still do very much. the day of our break up was very weird. I went to the shops as normal in the morning before school, then I met him outside the school gates he gave me the best kiss of my life and told me he would love me forever. I really believed he would. but something happened during the school day I'm not in any of his lessons so the only time I would see him was after school. so when the bell went for the end of the day I went and waited for him as usual , but something was wrong he was crying and he never cried. he told me things arnt the same with my friends spreading things about us like this and he couldn't take it any more then he told me he was breaking up with me that was the day he let me walk away crying and he didn't even one word to sort things out. Now 2 months on we never talk and every time I pass him he always stares and smiles, I get along great with his sister who tells me I am all he goes on about but doesn't feel he can ask me out again because he thinks I hate him. I don't I still Love him and always will.
If only he knew how I felt about him maybe we would be together again.xxxxxxxx

Bethany

December 13, 2015 @ (California )

Tags: First love breakup

I met him in seventh grade and I had this math worksheet that was really hard and he was the smartest kid in class so I asked him to help me and that was the start of it. We talked at school all the time and held hands whenever the teacher turned their backs. And when school was over we talked on the phone for hours sometimes on weekends we would fall asleep talking to eachother. I remember listening to him breath and I wish I was there holding him, just falling asleep to his breathing. He told me he loved me first. Instead of saying I love you I said I blueberry you because I once had a blueberry in the shape of a heart. I wonder if he still remembers that. We broke up at the end of 8th grade because we were going to different schools. We lost touch. I lost my mind. Even though this was so many years ago, I still love him. I still think about him. I'll probably love him forever, he was my first love